Today in Interpersonal Skills Training group we talked
about things that others like about us and things we have a hard time accepting
in ourselves or others. One of the things I mentioned is that it is hard for me
to accept failure. I am always pushing myself to do better. A "B" is
never good enough. Jaime asked where that came from. To be honest, I'm not
sure. So that's what I attempted to work through tonight as I journaled.
What will straight As and/or a high GPA give me? And
advantage if/when I apply to grad schools. Good standing in the Honor’s
Program. That’s it. Grades do not guarantee success. Grades do not guarantee a
high paying job. They do not guarantee a happy life.
How will my family and friends view me if I only got
Bs from here on out? They would still think I am smart. They will still love
me. They will still think I am worth their time. I will still have a place to
stay and people with whom I can watch movies.
Being intelligent is part of my identity, but it is
not my entire identity. Who am I? I am patient. I am funny. I am responsible. I
am a good listener. I am a daughter and a sister. I am a girlfriend and a best
friend. I am a caregiver and a small group leader. I am a reader and a writer
and a music lover and a dreamer. I am loved by God, my family, and my friends.
At times it feels like I will only be liked if I have
something to offer. If I am not smart, I am not special. Take away my grades
and there’s nothing left that you would be interested in. Are these things
true? Do I actually believe this? Where do these lies come from?
The only way to overcome lies is to focus on the
truth. This is what I know to be true: the God of the universe loves me deeply
and there is nothing I can do to earn it or deserve it. Any intelligence I have
is a gift from God. It did not come about by my power, but I can be a good
steward of that gift. Failure is never final. I will never be perfect. There
will always be someone smarter than me. My family loves me because I am me. I
am valuable. I have something to offer others. I am fearfully and wonderfully
made. I am loved unconditionally. These things I know to be true.
“Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will
choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth.”
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