1. We’re out of coffee. We have four more days of exams left and you’re telling me we’re out of coffee? How do you expect me to function? Next semester we’re rationing it off to make it last.
2. Your alarm. Didn’t I just get to sleep an hour ago? …5…more…minutes…
3. Stop procrastinating. Excuse me? You have no idea how fried my brain is right now. Add to that the fact that when the temperature went up, my motivation levels went down. So shut up and let me play CityVille.
4. Cumulative. Because testing us on stuff we don’t know just one time isn’t enough.
5. You look tired. It couldn’t be because I’ve been up until 4am for the last 3 nights writing papers and studying for exams, could it?
6. 50% of your grade. In other words, this one test could be the difference between passing and failing the class. No big deal.
7. Late-Night Waybright is cancelled. Noooooo! Where will I go when I want food at midnight?
8. Can I look at your notes? You haven’t been in class all year and you want to benefit from my hard work? Good joke.
9. I don’t believe in extra credit. That’s like your prof saying, “Yeah, I see you flailing your limbs as you drown, but I’m not going to throw you a life preserver.”
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