Thursday, October 4, 2012

From Hurricane to Harbor


Some days I look in the mirror and I can’t believe I am here. I can’t believe I got this far. I think of the girl I was in 8th grade and how many nights I literally wanted to die. I think of the comments I received about my weight in high school. I think of the person I was my freshman year of college, depressed and afraid to get out of bed. I think of all the nightmares that have plagued me my entire life.
And then I think about the last twelve months. I have been free from depression. I have begun to view my body positively. I haven’t had a nightmare in months. I am gaining confidence and people are recognizing my potential. I am at a school that I love, majoring in a subject that is close to my heart. I am in a relationship with someone who cares for me and makes me view life differently.
I can’t believe I am here. I still can’t believe I got this far.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Goodbye Hiatus (Hopefully)

I haven't posted anything since May, not because nothing has been happening in my life, but because writing became somewhat difficult for me this summer. I had a hard time putting words to my feelings and experiences. But I think things are starting to get back to normal (whatever that may be), and so I'm going to attempt to bring this blog back to life.

That might mean posts about what I'm learning academically, how I am developing spiritually, things I am doing, things I am reading, and things I find beautiful and inspiring. I by no means have this blogging thing figured out, as much as my friends would like to think I do, but I'm willing to give it what I have. Maybe this will be read, maybe it won't. Either way, writing makes me feel good. It is the best way I know how to express myself, and it has always been a healthy outlet for me. Here we go.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

No Thanks, Tom Petty


“You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You’ll never remember class time, but you’ll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don’t have. Drink ‘til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does…” –Tom Petty

I read this quote for the first time on Pinterest. It had been repinned by a handful of people I follow, and I can only assume it’s because they thought Mr. Petty had some great advice. I, however, couldn’t help but shake my head in complete disagreement.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand why this quote is appealing. I’m growing up in a generation that lives by mottos such as No Regrets and YOLO (you only live once). The idea is that life is something to be enjoyed, and if you’re not happy then you’re wasting your time. I’m not saying there’s anything inherently wrong about the pursuit of happiness. I am saying that when happiness, comfort, and entertainment become our goals in life, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment and possibly even failure.

Now I’m working on the assumption that college is meant to prepare you for the future. It’s a time in which you learn the theories and practice the skills you will need to be successful in your chosen career. It’s a time in which you begin to make adult decisions and start to live independently. If you choose to follow Tom Petty’s advice and be “irresponsible” for your four or more years of college, you are setting yourself up to be irresponsible in your career and your decisions post-graduation. If you stay out late, you sleep through class. If you go out on Tuesday when you have a paper due Wednesday, you get a poor grade on the paper. If you spend money you don’t have, you get into debt (on top of the debt you’ll already have from student loans). If you drink until sunrise, you go to class with a hangover (if you decide to go to class at all). When these things are done consistently through your time in college, they become habitual. The things you practice become part of your life.

Furthermore, I would argue that work isn’t just for people with jobs. It’s for people who want jobs too. Petty says you’ll never remember class time? If you’re staying out late and drinking until sunrise of course you’re not going to remember class. I really hope the people who follow this advice aren’t having their parents pay for their education. If you want to spend money, drink recklessly, and neglect your school work, you better be paying for your own education because I’d hate to see you waste someone else’s money.

Fortunately, not all of my generation thinks this way. There are still plenty of us who believe that hard work pays off and that education is something to be taken seriously. I go to school with a lot of young adults who have a great work ethic and a determination to prepare for their future. These students have social lives and know how to have fun. They believe that life is enjoyable, but they understand that there is a time for work and a time for play. It is those people who give me hope that my generation doesn’t have to give in to instant gratification and that we can still be a generation of positive world-changers. Tom Petty is right; the work never ends, but college does. So I’m going to make sure I use those four years in the best way possible.


If you want to read another response to Tom Petty’s quote, visit
http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1209793/an-open-letter-to-tom-petty-from-a-guy-who-took-his-college-quote-way-too-literally

Friday, January 13, 2012

"Courage, dear heart."

I’m considering getting these words tattooed somewhere on my body. They come from C.S. Lewis’s “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader,” whispered to Lucy by Aslan when the ship is making its way through the darkness where nightmares become reality. When I read this scene, I was struck by how similar this Dark Island was to my depression. How, just like Lucy, I couldn’t see light anywhere in the darkness. What got me through was the realization that I needed to have some amount of courage. Not some loud, roaring courage, but the whispering kind. The kind that says, “I’ll try again tomorrow.” And as soon as I learned to cling to that small piece of courage, I could see some light. Just like Lucy, I made it out. Should I ever return to that place, I want those words to remind me of the courage that comes from the whispers of my God.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Chronicles of Narnia and a Serbian Proverb

Sometimes I need to be reminded of this:


"You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve," said Aslan. "And that is both honor enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."