Tuesday, December 31, 2013

That Time of the Year

I haven’t made any resolutions for 2014.

I’m not against the concept of New Year’s resolutions, but the way they’re usually done doesn’t seem to work. You all know how it goes: you declare that this is the year you’re going to lose weight/quit smoking/stick to a budget/travel more, etc. But by February you have forgotten all about those resolutions (if you hadn’t already failed by mid-January). So you make those same resolutions again the next December.

I’m not on board with that.

This year I’m trying something different.

It’s hard to keep focused on resolutions throughout an entire year, especially when those resolutions are vague or hard to measure. But short-term goals are a lot more manageable. So this year I am trying something new: making goals every three months in the physical, financial, intellectual, social, and emotional areas of my life.

In the interest of accountability (whatever accountability there is in internet sharing), I am putting my goals out here.

Physical – Get back down to my original goal weight of 150
After a lot of hard work to reach my goal weight earlier this year, I got off track when my schedule changed. I haven’t gained back a lot, but I would like to get back to the disciplined eating and exercising I had before. Setting a concrete goal like the number 150 will give me something measurable to focus on.

Financial – Understand where my money goes
Admittedly, I’m not very good at saving money. This year I have recognized that I often go shopping simply because I am bored, and often money feels like it’s eating a hole in my pocket until the urge to spend results in mindless shopping. So this week I have been researching the basics of budgeting, and I plan to document my spending in order to better understand my habits and see where I can start saving money.

Intellectual – Complete all reading assignments on time
When the my grades for the fall semester came out, I was so proud of the work I put into my classes. But I know I could have pushed myself a little harder and gotten more out of my classes had I done all the readings for all of my classes. So this semester the plan is to write down all of the reading assignments in my planner ahead of time so I know what is coming up, and to carve out time in my weekly schedule specifically for academic reading.

Social – Stop initiating and engaging in gossip
Recently I have recognized a disturbing habit of gossiping about certain people in my everyday conversations with some friends. I acknowledge this as an unhealthy habit that prevents me from loving some of my brothers and sisters in Christ. So the gossiping has to stop. I want to stop initiating it, and I plan to have a response ready for when others initiate gossip in my presence.

Emotional – Journal five days a week
One of the best practices for my emotional health has been journaling. It may be obvious, but I process my life by writing about it. In the interest of working through my thoughts and emotions, I want to make journaling a more disciplined part of my life.

So there it is, my short-term goals for January-March 2014. My hope is that breaking up the year into shorter intervals will make my goals more manageable. I hope that I have put enough thought and intentionality into setting these goals that they will be clear and success can be more easily measured.

Because I’m tired of failed resolutions.

Here’s to goals and growth in 2014,

brittany-signature

 

P.S. Feel free to share your goals for the New Year in the comments. Or share any suggestions you may have for making my goals more clear and measurable. Thanks for reading!

Monday, December 16, 2013

Sitting Down

I am sitting here drinking coffee and watching the snow fall as the She & Him Christmas album plays in the background. My world is calm and quiet and slow.

But it’s not supposed to be like this.

It’s finals week. I should be drinking my third cup of coffee, switching frantically between Facebook, Pinterest, and a Race and Ethnics study guide. My world should be full of distraction and anxiety.

But it’s not, and I won’t pretend that it is.

Sure, I have things to do. I have tests to prepare for, gifts to purchase and wrap, a room to pack up. But, thank God, I have learned am learning the skill of time management (that’s right, it’s a skill, not a gift). I have studied what I need to, so I have time to take a break. I’m not in over my head. I am not sleep-deprived. I am not hurried. But I realize what I am feeling (or not feeling) is not normal.

College culture glorifies busy and celebrates stress. Overwhelmed Tweets in all caps and Instagram pictures of to-do lists serve as badges we can show off to say, “Look how busy I am.” Because busy means responsible, right? Because the more assignments and meetings in my planner the more important I am? I have to prove that I am more stressed out than the person next to me to prove that I am the harder working student?

What the heck is up with that?

Luke 10:38-42 says, “Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.’ But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.’”

Martha was busy. She was “anxious and troubled about many things.” And, in her busyness, she complained.

Mary chose what is good. Close fellowship with the Lord, sitting at Jesus’s feet, was considered to be the greatest possession.

So this finals week, I am trying to be a little less like Martha and a little more like Mary. I want to complain a little less, and sit a little more. And that’s something that Mary chose. She had to choose to sit down instead of let herself be overwhelmed with work.

Lord, help me choose to sit with you this week.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Story Time with Papa

As I sit on the couch, the morning sun sends warm, golden light through the window. I sip my coffee and close my eyes. My face instinctively turns toward the sun. I am, after all, a sunflower. At least that’s what my Papa calls me.

I am His daughter. The one at whom He smiles. The one who often climbs into His lap and asks for a story. That’s what I do this morning. The soft couch is His lap; the golden sun, His smile. I ask Him for a story.

Papa tells me the story of my sister, Esther, the lovely one. He tells me of her beauty, how it won her the favor of the king. He tells me about her love for her uncle and her people. Such love that gave the young queen courage to petition the king. Because of her courage, and because the king favored her, the entire Jewish race was saved.

Papa knows I love this story. I love imagining the palace, the banquets, the robes, the celebration feasts. I admire Esther’s obedience and integrity. Papa leans in and whispers, “The king favored Esther because she was beautiful; you are beautiful because your Papa loves you.”

The sun shines brighter as it rises higher in the morning sky. I smile back and thank Papa for the story. I uncurl myself from the couch and prepare for the day, still smiling because I am His daughter. Because I am His beautiful sunflower.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Praying the Same Prayer

It does not take much courage to talk about the things one has overcome. It takes a great deal of courage to talk about the things that are still in progress. I say that as prelude to this next confession: I struggle with anxiety.

Looking through some old documents, I found this prayer I wrote down almost exactly two years ago:

God, I really need you.

I am overwhelmed. I can barely breathe with the weight of all these mixed emotions. There’s so much fear and anxiety. I feel overworked and exhausted and uncomfortable. I want so much for this to be a growing experience, but I feel trampled. God, use this place and this situation to mold me. Help me learn from the stress and the fear. Rid me of the emotional baggage I’ve brought here and be with me as I encounter even bigger obstacles this summer. Be my rock, my strength, my guide, and my light. Be my teacher, my lover, my father, my friend, and my savior. I don’t know how to handle any of this on my own, so I need you. I am weak and easily swayed, but you are strong and firm. I ask that you walk with me through this camp, giving me words to speak and ears to listen, revealing yourself to me in new and bold ways. Holy Spirit, take away my spirit of timidity and fill me instead with a spirit of passion. Replace fear with love.

All for Your glory, Amen.

Two years later and I am still praying the same prayer.

I still struggle, but, thank God, I do not struggle on my own. He is making all things new.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Catharsis and Contentment

I am convinced that there is not much more satisfying than reading a good book on a stormy day. There is something so beautiful about the sky opening up and a soul letting out a deep sigh. The sky’s catharsis and the soul’s contentment. There is something about a warm, dry room with a view of a cold, wet world that feels safe. As the sky cracks and clouds roll, there is a world inside a world. The magic of a story is easier to imagine when accompanied by the percussion of rain. I can put myself in Sophie’s World and let the garden of my mind be watered. I am lulled to sleep, carried on a thundercloud.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Hurricane and Harbor

I have been kept safe in harbor
I have walked along the shore long enough
To collect a few seashells
To learn the language of the locals
”A ship in harbor is safe
But that is not what ships are for”
These legs were meant for uncertain seas
This skin to feel the salt spray
I am heading for possible hurricanes
I am destined for certain adventure

Thursday, April 4, 2013

A France Update (Finally)


Friends and Family,
     
       Thank you for your support leading up to and during my recent trip to France. Your kind words, prayers, and financial donations made it possible for me to return to a place that is very close to my heart. I am writing to share my experience with you and give you an update of how you can continue to pray for me and my team.
     
       For the first day and a half and the last day of the trip, we were sightseeing in Paris. I love the beauty and the history of the city. My favorite sites were Notre Dame and Sacre Coeur, two very large and exquisite cathedrals with gorgeous sculptures and stained glass. The Eiffel Tower was just as good the second time as well. At night it is all lit up and glowing. None of the pictures turned out very well, but it was really a beautiful thing.
    


        We spent the majority of our trip in the small village of Taizé. The best way to describe the Taizé experience is that it is like a summer camp in many ways. There were three church services each day (morning, afternoon, and evening). During each service we would sing songs in different languages. A lot of the songs we sang that week were English, German, and French, but the Brothers of Taizé change it up every week depending on what kinds of visitors they have.
     
       In the mornings we participated in Bible study and small groups, and in the afternoons we did work around the community. This work included setting up tents for the thousands of visitors that are expected to flock to Taizé for Easter and the Holy Week. The morning small group time was one of the best parts of the day. I was in a group with one of my teammates, two French girls, two German girls, two German boys, and a Turkish boy, all between the ages of 19 and 20. It was interesting to read Scripture together and talk about how to integrate our faith into our daily lives. The relationships that were formed in the small group allowed me the opportunity to hear the stories and struggles of my group members and to deliver a message of God’s love, justice, and redemptive power.
         


     I went into this trip expecting a time of rest and spiritual renewal. I got what I expected and even more. I learned to be attentive to the people around me, to listen to their stories, and to take advantage of opportunities to share truth. That is the kind of stuff that I usually shy away from, but I am learning to sow seeds and watch God do the work of growing those people. During my week in Taizé I learned to take joy in my salvation. I have been given a beautiful gift of a new life in Christ and I am being called to bring others into that joy as well.
            
     Now that I am back at school, reality has been a bit of a shock. The pace of life is much faster here and classes are back in full swing. In addition to that, I still have the financial aspect of my trip to consider. At this time I have a balance of $490 to pay off. I am expected to pay 10% of that balance each week for 10 weeks. This is where I need your help. I ask that you please consider making a donation. Any amount (even $5) helps. Donations can be given directly to me or online at this link: https://www.formstack.com/forms/tiu_forms-missions_giving_france_2013
            
     Beyond the financial side of things, I ask that you be in prayer for the cross-cultural relationships that were formed during my trip. I am still in contact with some of those individuals and I pray that God works through our conversations.
           
   I would love to share more stories of my travels or answer any questions you may have. Please feel free to ask me about it at any time! I am incredibly blessed to have such supportive people in my life who help make these opportunities possible. I am grateful for each and every one of you and pray that the Lord blesses you as much as you have blessed me.

Merci beaucoup!
(Thank you very much!)

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Travel Itinerary

In case you were interested in our activities throughout the next 9-10 days, here is the itinerary:

Thursday, February 28
2:30 p.m. Meet at TIU (Madsen Lot) to load up and head to O’Hare
3:30 p.m. Arrive at O’Hare and check in
6:15 p.m. Flight UA 942 departs for Paris-Charles de Gaulle

Friday, March 1
9:40 a.m. Flight UA 942 arrives in Paris
10:30 a.m. Travel via Paris Metro to St. Christopher’s Inn
11:00 a.m. Arrive at St. Christopher’s Inn... drop off bags and freshen up
11:30 a.m. Eat lunch near the hostel
12:15 a.m. Visit the D’Orsay ($10)/Louvre ($20) and Notre Dame
6:00 p.m. Eat dinner near Notre Dame
8:30 p.m. Return to hostel

Saturday, March 2
7:30 a.m. Breakfast at St. Christopher’s Inn
8:15 a.m. Check out of hostel, store our bags and head to Montmartre and Sacre Couer
12:00 p.m. Lunch in Montmartre
3:15 p.m. Return to St. Christopher’s Inn to collect bags
3:45 p.m. Collect bags and then depart for Gare de Lyon via Metro
4:45 p.m. Arrive Gare de Lyon
5:19 p.m. Depart Gare de Lyon for Macon-Loché via TGV 6195
6:53 p.m. Arrive at the Macon-Loché station
7:09 p.m. Depart from Macon-Loché station to Taizé via Buscéphale
7:41 p.m. Arrive in Taizé... welcome at La Morada
7:45 p.m. Dinner in Taizé

Sunday, March 3 - Friday, March 8
We will enter into the schedule of the Taizé community.

Friday, March 8
1:24 p.m. Depart from Taizé to Macon-Loché station
2:03 p.m. Arrive at Macon-Loché station... grab a snack
2:34 p.m. Depart from Macon-Loché station to Paris via TGV 6972
4:11 p.m. Arrive at Gare de Lyon in Paris
4:30 p.m. Travel to St. Christopher’s Inn via Paris Metro
5:00 p.m. Check in to hostel
5:15 p.m. Head out for dinner and late-night sightseeing at Eiffel Tower and Champs-Elysee

Saturday, March 9
8:30 a.m. Breakfast at hostel
9:00 a.m. Check out of hostel
9:15 a.m. Depart for Paris-Charles de Gaulle via Paris Metro
10:15 a.m. Arrive at Paris-Charles de Gaulle... check in for flight
12:15 p.m. Lunch in airport terminal
12:40 p.m. Flight UA 943 departs for Chicago O’Hare
3:00 p.m. Flight arrives in Chicago
4:30 p.m. Return to TIU

Bon Voyage

During my freshman year at Trinity International University, I had the opportunity to participate in a mission trip to Taizé, France. It was truly a life-changing experience for me as I got to participate in Christian community, engage other cultures, and experience personal growth. While considering my options for junior year, I felt a tugging on my heart to return once again to the Taizé community. After a lot of prayerful consideration I applied for the trip and was accepted.

For the next week and a half (February 28 - March 9, 2013) I will be joining a team of students and staff from Trinity to take part in this short-term journey. My time in France will be spent in two places: Paris and Taizé. For the first day and a half and the last day of this trip I will be in Paris. The Louvre, Notre Dame, Sacre Coeur, Montmartre, the Eiffel Tower: I love it all.

france collage2

The majority of this trip, however, takes place in the Taizé community. While there, I will eat, sleep, pray, and study the Bible with other young adults from around the world. My day will consist of three prayer services; small jobs around the grounds; afternoon Bible studies; and a lot of time for personal reflection, walking through the countryside, and/or hanging out with all of the visitors.

france collage3

I am absolutely overjoyed to be returning to this place that holds such significance in my heart. And I would love for you to keep me and those who travel with me in your prayers this week. More specifically, I could use prayers for my health (I have had a cold for the last six days). My team and I also ask that you prayer for safe travels, safety while overseas, and for hearts and minds that are open to whatever the Lord has for us in this season. Thank you all so much!

Friday, February 22, 2013

How He Loves

DSCN3098_edit2

You see this guy? I love him.

This week, when life got busy and I was overwhelmed, he poured out his love. He was not scared away when I cried on the couch, venting my frustrations. He was gracious and understanding when I fell asleep several nights in a row in the middle of our conversations. When I seemed to be near my breaking point, he reminded me of the things that calm me down. He suggested tea, hot showers, books, journaling, and prayer.

I am not used to being known and provided for with that kind of depth and care. The beautiful thing is that is who Adam is. It isn’t an act he puts on, or something he does in special circumstances. He is a loving caregiver to the very core.

I am truly blessed to receive that kind of love every day.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

My Cheesy Valentine

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends!

I feel like most people fall into one of two categories when it comes to Valentine’s Day: people who love it and people who hate it. Of course, there are people in the middle and people who change their opinions from year to year depending on situations, but I think the majority of people will align themselves with one of these mentalities. Personally, I love all things Valentine’s (except conversation hearts, because…just, yuck).

**If you don’t like Valentine’s Day, please feel free to ignore this post. It’s full of some lovey dovey cute things and I wouldn’t want you to vomit.

Seriously though, I love giving and receiving cute little cards, eating ALL THE THINGS covered in chocolate, seeing people get flowers and fun care packages. I love the red and pink and hearts everywhere. I think it’s a great reminder to let people know you love them, and I mean all the important people in your life, not just a significant other. And it’s also a good excuse to go out and do something fun and/or fancy.

I appreciate Valentine’s Day even more this year because I have someone absolutely wonderful with which to share it. And as my head was filled with all things lovey dovey in the last two weeks (yes, I was totally in V-Day mode two weeks ago already) I couldn’t help but think of some fun ways to make this holiday a special one. Although we aren’t able to spend the day together (he works, I babysit) we still got to see each other yesterday. So I asked him to officially be my Valentine by giving him a bag of Cheetos with this note:

cheesy valentine

Of course, he said yes. :)

We will also be making dinner together tomorrow, then attending a banquet/fundraiser for the ministries we are both involved in, and then ending the night with some ice skating. So fun!

Question(s) of the Week: How will you be spending your Valentine’s Day? What is your favorite kind of chocolate (since that’s what this holiday is really about, am I right)?

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Dear Friend

What is it that keeps you at a distance? Why the miles and months of separation?

Perhaps it is a lover who has stolen your attention. A golden-haired boy worthy of your affection. A God-fearing man who makes you forget the playmates of your youth. Perhaps your letters to me have been exchanged for poems to him.

Maybe it is a secret that keeps you in hiding. A sin that causes you to turn your face. A story you are not yet ready to tell. Maybe you forgot about your old secret-keeper, your ever-attentive audience.

It matters not what keeps you away, dear friend. I only wish you would find your way back.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Something Beautiful

My world could use a little more beauty lately, so I thought I would share with you some of the ways I am trying to do that.

I added this little number to my desk. I am obsessed with bunting these days. Little flags on string makes everything a little bit cuter. This one is made out of black and white polka-dot washi tape (another one of my obsessions), some left over scrapbook paper, and black yarn. Doesn't it make the desk super cute?



Ever since Meghan and I moved in I have been trying to think of something to do with this big empty wall space. I had a few ideas (some bigger bunting running from the desk to the bed, a black and white picture of the two of us, a giant painted canvas with a special quote or verse, or an inspiration board). In the end I decided to use our color scheme and our initials for some customized decorations.



I bought the frames from Dollar Tree (cheap, perfect!) and used scrapbook paper for the background and letters. I love love love how they turned out! I'm thinking about putting a large black and white photo of the two of us above the frames. What do you think?



I recently discovered that if my nails are painted, I'm like 348945 times less likely to bite them (that has been a problem since I was little). If you're a Facebook friend you may have noticed my Blackhawks/Pokeball nails earlier. They were so fun! But it was time for a change. Here's the new look:



So cute, right? They were inspired by this big blanket that Mom made me for Christmas.



These things are so small and so simple, but they really brighten my mood. Especially when it's so cold and dull outside. I have had a blast tapping into my creative side too. Win-win!

Have you been doing any crafty, creative things lately? I wanna see!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

The Open Sea Before Me

I had every intention to make a big announcement today, but due to some lack of planning on my part (oops) it's not ready. I'll just save it for next week possibly.

In other news, classes started last week and I couldn't be more excited about my course load. This semester I will be spending a lot of time learning about and practicing discipleship, communication, and counseling skills -things I will need to be an effective Christian counselor.

These days it seems like everything is lining up perfectly to prepare me for my future. I finally have a vision of what my career path might look like, and if you have been following me since freshman year of college you know how big of a deal that is. My major and emphases have been changed several times in these three years of undergrad, but this one feels different (better) than the rest. More than a feeling, I can see how the experiences and gifting of my life have led me in this direction. The greatest thing is that I am constantly being affirmed in this area by those around me. It feels so good.

To be clear, I'm not pretending to have it all figured out. I still have no idea in what context I might want/be called to counsel. I don't know if grad school will be part of the picture. It's just relieving to finally have some sense of direction, some vision or purpose to help me push through.

Praising God for His continued work in my life,

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Worn

This week is rough so I didn't really write anything, at least not anything I feel comfortable sharing. Instead I'm posting the lyrics to a song that has been on repeat all week, and I ask that you keep my family in your prayers.

"Worn" by Tenth Avenue North

I’m tired, I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes 
To keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed 
By the weight of this world

And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart 
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know the sun can rise 
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

I know I need to lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart 
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know the sun can rise 
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

My prayers are wearing thin
And I’m worn
Even before the day begins
I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn
Heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart 
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know the sun can rise 
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn

Though I’m worn
Yeah I’m worn

Thursday, January 3, 2013

I Would Be Lost Without My Blogger

Ahhhh, it's 8pm and I almost forgot to put up a Thursday post! I am trying to be more disciplined in my writing by journaling every night and putting up a new blog post every Thursday, so I really didn't think it was a good idea for me to slack off and not post one today. Anyway, this one clearly isn't going to be super thoughtful or logically organized or whatever because it's kinda last minute.

ANYWAY...

I love Winter Break because I actually have free time to do whatever I want. And whatever I want usually includes watching shows online and making a dent in my to-read list. One of the things I got into recently is BBC's Sherlock.

Having been around Tumblr for a while, I have seen A LOT of Sherlock posts and I came to the realization that everyone except for me had already seen it and believed it to be the best thing ever. With this new found free time, I decided to jump on the bandwagon.

I am so glad I did. The show is witty and clever, and the pairing of Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman is fantastic. I find myself in the same position as John Watson, exclaiming "Brilliant!" every time Sherlock makes some super accurate deduction based on tiny details the average person would never pick up on. I love it. I absolutely love it.

If you have never seen Sherlock, I highly suggest you add it to your Netflix Instant Queue right now. Seriously. Open up a new tab, watch an episode (they're around 90 minutes each), then come back and tell me how much you love it.

Okay, go.