Sunday, February 6, 2011

Major Change

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” –Matthew 16:24
From the time I was in fifth grade, I knew what the plan was. Even at that age, I knew I would always want to be a psychologist. As the years went by, the dream didn’t change; the plan just got more precise. I would go to college (a lot of college…at least eight years of it), get an internship, get a job as  a psychologist in a large office building, make lots of money, and live comfortably. I remember hearing someone say, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans,” but I was convinced that this wasn’t just my plan, but His plan too.
With my entire future seemingly set out before me, it came as a surprise to a lot of people (to myself as well) when I switched my major at the end of my first semester of undergrad. I decided to drop psychology in order to pursue a degree in Christian ministry. Don’t get me wrong; my family was incredibly happy and supportive of my decision, but now there were a lot of questions to be answered. With psychology, I knew exactly what I wanted and everything was figured out. So a lot of people had a hard time understanding this switch. They pointed out that there didn’t seem to be as many jobs in children’s ministry, the pay wasn’t as good, and asked why I would give up my dream. The only thing I can say in response is that when God tells you to do something, you listen.
Since so many people have asked, I thought I’d finally sit down and unpack the reason behind my change of major. The short and simple answer is that I felt God calling me to ministry, and that’s the answer I give everyone. It was really a move that didn’t require much thought on my part. I don’t remember the exact day, and I don’t remember the exact instant, but I know that God spoke to me. I don’t remember what I had been doing at the time, but suddenly I was consumed with just one thought: I should go into children’s ministry.  That’s how it happened. Right in that moment the decision was made. I remember walking to my dorm room and thinking that this meant I would have to give up psychology, and I felt a little mournful at the loss of my dream. For the second time that day, God spoke to me and said, “You want to follow me? Okay, give up everything.” With that revelation, I knew that if I wanted to really trust in God and follow His plan for my life, I had to be willing to sacrifice some things, including the dream I had had since elementary school.
So that’s my story, but it’s not just my story. It’s a story of God calling his people to follow, a story of putting down nets and getting out of the boat, a story of denying self and taking up a cross. Because when God tells you to do something, you listen.